


Skin and Bones

by EmptyWithout



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fire, M/M, Physical Abuse, Starvation, Wincest - Freeform, abusive!John
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-06 03:33:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15877659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmptyWithout/pseuds/EmptyWithout
Summary: Sam and Dean get caught. Their lives are turned upside down.





	1. Chapter 1

John Winchester found out one night in their motel room. They thought they were alone.

He had given them their own motel room because he wanted a completely quiet night alone to finally get some sleep.  He looked around his empty room and shook his head, smiling. Finally, a quiet night. He cracked open a new bottle of whiskey and sat down to watch some tv.

It was somewhere around ten when he had to go next door. It was for something random, but it doesn’t matter what it was.

He knocked on the door, but no one answered. The lights were on, but neither boy was answering. This of course, made John nervous and he used his lock pick to gain access to the room.

Everything seemed fine, no mess, no signs of attack, or anything.

But John did hear the shower running.

“Dean? Sam?” John slowly pushed open the bathroom door and practically fell over at the sight in front of him.

Sam, his youngest, was on his knees before his older brother. Dean was leaning back against the tile with his head thrown back, eyes closed, his hands grabbing and pulling Sam’s hair. “Yeah Sammy, god, that feels so good –“

Sam, his mouth full of Dean, replied, “mmm-mmm hmmm”

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!” Both boys’ eyes flew open, terrified to see their father standing there. Dean quickly pulled away from Sam, who stayed kneeling on the ground. Neither boy knew what to do, frozen in fear, water still pouring down over them.

“TURN OFF THE FUCKING SHOWER, DEAN.” Dean leaned over and turned off the water. He grabbed a towel from the wall and draped it over Sam, still on his knees. John’s face was bright red, his teeth clenched together.

“Sam.” John spoke slowly, never taking his eyes off Dean. “Get dressed. Now. Go wait for me in my room.” His hands balled into fists by his side. He was shaking from head to toe.

“But Dad,” started Sam. His voice was weak, unsure of himself. John interrupted, holding up his hand.

“Boy, you better go now before you make this any worse than it’s already gonna be.”

Sam and Dean exchanged worried glances. Dean gave Sam a slight nod, and Sam got up, wrapping the towel around him. He walked around his father, and back into the main room.

John kept looking at Dean, not saying a word, breathing heavily. Dean stood with his hands covering his dick, eyes wide. His heart was beating so hard he was sure his dad could hear it. He was terribly afraid of what his dad was going to do.

“Fuck,” Dean thought. They had managed to keep it a secret for almost two years. And now his dad knew. Not only knew, but _saw_. Dean shuddered.

After a few more moments of silence, Dean heard a soft, “Dad?” from Sam.

“Get. Your. Ass. In. My. Room. Sam. Now.”

Another pause, then Dean heard the click of the outer door being closed.

It was then that John made his move. He strode forward, reaching into the shower. Grabbing Dean around the throat, he pushed Dean up against the wall. Dean gasped for air, his hands going up to his dad’s strong one. John’s fingers tightened.

“What the hell are you doing to your brother?” There were tears in John’s eyes as he started to squeeze.

“He’s a kid, Dean. And he’s your brother! What you are doing to him is _wrong_!”

Dean tried to pull his dad’s hands off him, but he was too powerful. He started to see spots. He was feeling very light headed. John, finally noticing Dean’s gasps for air, and what he was doing, let go. He turned toward the door, not wanting to face his son. Dean collapsed to the ground.

“Dad, it’s not what you think. We…we love each other!”

John turned back to look at his older son, who lay wet and crying in the bottom of the shower.

“You- you what?” John laughed. “That’s not possible. You…you need help Dean. Jesus Christ, how long have you been doing this to Sam?”

“I’m not doing anything _to him_ Dad, We’re doing things together. Because we love each other.”

John shook his head. More tears formed in his eyes.

“You need help Dean. You need – no, you know what? You don’t need help. Sam needs help. He’s going to need therapy after the way you brainwashed him into doing _this_ stuff with you.” John was full on crying now. It tore him apart to see his sons doing… _that_.

“Dad, please…Sam and I - ”

“Please? Please? I’m looking at my naked son - who just finished forcing his younger brother to give him a blow job in the shower! You shouldn’t even be allowed to speak his name anymore, Dean.”

“What?” Dean was confused.

“I’m going to make sure you never hurt him again. I’m going to keep him safe. And you. You…” John had a hard time speaking the last few words.  He raised his finger and jabbed at his son. “I don’t ever.  Want to see you. Again.” With that, he turned and walked out of the bathroom, through the main room and towards the outer door.

“Dad, wait, no!” Dean got up quickly, nearly slipping on the wet tiles.

He grabbed a towel from the main room, one that had been discarded earlier, and covered himself.

“Dad!” He managed to reach John just as his hand touched the doorknob.

But John whirled on him.

“Get your hands off of me, you sick freak.” He raised his hand and punched Dean, hard, knocking him out. Dean collapsed to the floor, his world turning to darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean woke up naked on the floor, towel wrapped around his feet. He winced as he got up to look in the mirror. There was dried blood on his face and his eye was swollen. He gently touched his face and winced again. He washed his face gently and was left with a nice shiner. His dad sure knew how to punch.  
Dad.  
Sam.  
Sammy!  
Dean threw on a pair of jeans and ran out the door. It was light outside. His dad had punched him (dad punched me?) late in the evening, so Dean knew he had been unconscious for the whole night. He hoped he wasn’t too late. He peeked in the window of the room next door, but the curtains were closed. He ran to knock on the door.  
“Sam! Sammy! Dad! Please! Open the door. Don’t take him away, dad, please. Sam, I love you! Dad! Please!” Dean’s knocking turned into pounding.  
The door opened. A large, sweaty man in his boxers opened the door.  
“What the hell, dude? Are you ok? Do you need help?” He looked concerned.  
“Wait. Where’s my dad? Where’s my brother?” He shoved past the man. A bag he had never seen before sat on the freshly made bed.  
“Hey, now, you can’t just –“  
“Where’s my dad!” Dean started freaking out. If they were gone -   
“Son, I don’t know, ok? I just checked in, like an hour ago. If this was your dad’s room, he’s already gone. I’m sorry, man.”  
“No!” Dean tore out of the strange man’s room and ran straight to the main office, yelling.  
“My dad! My dad checked out with my brother! He left me here!”  
The clerk, who was eating a bagel, casually stood up and wiped off his mouth and nodded, “Oh yes. He said you’d be here. He told me to give you this.” The clerk reached under the counter and pulled out an envelope. He handed it to Dean, who took it and stared at it.  
Dean started shaking. “When did they leave?’  
The clerk, still chewing, thought about it for a moment. “Hmmm...I guess it was about eleven o’clock last night. Maybe twelve. He glanced down at his watch. “So about…twelve hours ago?”  
“No.” Dean stumbled backward in shock.  
“Yeah, I was here when he left. Your brother looked pretty bad. His face was all red, like he’d been crying, too.” He pointed to Dean’s face. “And uh…looked kinda like that, too”  
Dean remembered his swollen eye.  
“He…he hit him, too?” No. Not Sammy. Sammy didn’t deserve this. Dean choked back a sob.  
The man behind the counter frowned. “Your dad hits you often, son? I can help. I can get you safe –“  
Dean put up his hand. He didn’t want anyone else involved. “No. No, he doesn’t. He never did before. This…this was the first time he ever…”  
The clerk nodded. “Ok then. He said he was going to take your brother to the hospital up the road. Said you could meet them there. Are you sure you’re ok? Don’t want any help?”  
Dean merely nodded. “I’m fine. Thank you.” Everything around him seemed to disappear into the background. He knew his father wasn’t at the hospital. He was long gone.   
“Ok, well,” the man hesitated, not wanting to have to kick the boy out, but… “Check out time is noon, so I need you to be sure you’re out of there and bring me the key in the next hour, ok? I’m sorry, man.”  
“Yeah. Ok. I’ll get out of here. No reason to stay anymore.” Dean nodded again and went back to his room. When he got inside he sat on the bed and stared at the envelope for several minutes.  
Finally, he slowly opened the envelope.  
Inside was a one hundred dollar bill and a letter. Dean swallowed hard and began to read.  
Dean,  
Sam won’t talk to me yet. He won’t tell me anything. He can barely even look at me. You’ve traumatized him Dean. As much as I love you son, I can’t have you near Sam anymore. I’m going to help him. I’m going to take him far away from you. Use the hundred to get a bus ticket to somewhere. Anywhere. Sam doesn’t want to see you - I’m pretty sure Sam hates you, too Dean. But you won’t ever be able to hurt him anymore. You will never see your brother again, I’ll make sure of that.  
John   
Dean crumpled the letter and threw it on the floor. Dad – no – John was gone. And Sam was gone. Taken from him. And Dean had no idea where he could be. He sat on the floor, tears falling as he sobbed into the empty room.  
He managed to gather his belongings and get to the bus station within the hour. His dad must have come in sometime after he’d knocked him out, because all of Sammy’s stuff was gone. There wasn’t much for him to take with him. Knowing his dad had just…stepped over his unconscious body and left him there tore his heart out.   
Dean got a bus ticket to Sioux Falls and headed back to Bobby. Bobby, of course, picked him up immediately and took him home.   
Dean explained to Bobby the gist of the situation. (He of course, left out a few key pieces of information.) Bobby’s lips formed into a tight line and he sighed heavily, shaking his head.  
“Have you called him yet?” Bobby suggested.  
Dean was tired from crying. “Yeah Tried that. Number has been disconnected. Both of their phones.”  
Bobby nodded. He stared hard at Dean. “There’s something you aren’t telling me. Dean, tell me what happened. What really happened. Start from the beginning of this story, not the end, ok? Then we can see what we can do about finding them.”  
Dean’ hands trembled as he ran his fingers through his hair. He took a deep breath. “Ok, Bobby. But. Please. Just listen to the end. No judging me, I mean – us - until then, ok?”  
Bobby was confused, but accepted Dean’s terms.   
It was very difficult and scary for Dean to open up to Bobby, to tell him everything. He was shaking and crying the whole time. But he had literally nowhere else to go. He knew if Bobby shut him out, then he’d be screwed. Alone. So he started at the beginning. Before the shower. Before they got caught. He told him when it started and how they felt about each other. He told Bobby everything.  
But Bobby listened. He just sat back, and made no comments or expressions until Dean was finished.  
“Ok then…” Bobby paused, rubbing his hand across his beard. He cleared his throat. “Ok then. It’s uh…it’s no wonder why you’re so distressed. We’re gonna do what we can to get Sam back, ok? I know John’s gonna fight this, but Dean – I think you are in the right here, not your dad.”  
Dean let out a small sob and hugged Bobby.  
“Thank you.”  
“Yeah well, nothing is ever normal for hunters, so…whatever is…just is.” Bobby patted Dean on the back. “Let’s see if we can find Sam.”


	3. Chapter 3

Bobby and Dean had tried to find John and Sam. They asked other hunters to keep an eye out. They searched exhaustedly for weeks. Dean drove east and Bobby drove west. Rufus even pitched in. They asked every hunter they knew. But no one had seen them. Or if they had, they weren’t saying anything about it. Truth is, though, that John knew how to hide. It had been too long – and not even one clue. Not one. Dean was devastated.  
He missed his brother. He missed his touch. Falling in love with Sam wasn’t his choice. He just…did. And Sam was in love with him.  
And Sam had been forcibly removed from Dean’s life.   
(3 months later)  
With no leads, there was really nothing he could do. He had to find things to occupy his time.   
Working on cars always made him feel better. Well, took his mind off of things, really. He’d get so absorbed in his task that time would just slip away from him. Which was fine for him, because it just meant closer to ending yet another day without his brother.  
There had been other hunts. Bobby and Rufus had just left on a hunt this morning, actually. He’d helped them on two hunts before this one, but he decided he just couldn’t do it anymore. He’d almost gotten all three of them killed with his lack of focus. He couldn’t stop thinking about Sam. So he stayed behind and tried to find something to do while Bobby and Rufus went off to kill a wendigo.  
Dean’s hands were covered in grease and oil as he leaned into the truck’s engine. He was trying to keep busy. Had to find things other than Sam to think about.   
He was looking for parts in the salvage yard when he heard it.   
“Dean?” The voice wasn’t yelling, and it sounded very weak. Sort of far away. Dean’s head snapped up. He’d know that voice anywhere. Was he imagining things? His breath hitched in his throat. It couldn’t be…  
“Sam?” Dean quickly wiped his hands on a rag and dropped it to the ground. “Sam?” His voice rose to a loud, panicked yell.  
“Dean!” The voice cried out, sounding relieved.  
No denying it now. That was Sam. Sam was here. He was here! He ran – his heart was pounding, his hands were shaking. He rounded the corner (more like a stack of tires, really). Sam was walking towards him, alone. He was wearing the same clothes he had on the night John took him away. (Dean didn’t know this, of course. But he did notice how dirty and ragged the clothes were.) How they hung on his body. He looked sick. John was nowhere in sight.   
Dean was taken aback at Sam’s appearance, but only hesitated a second or two. He ran up to his brother and threw his arms around him, kissing his neck. “Sam, I’ve missed you so…much…what’s…Sam why are you…Sam?” Dean noticed how lethargic Sam was. He ran his fingers down Sam’s chest, and back up his arms. Dean felt a shiver run through him. He took a closer look. “Sam – Sam, what is this?”  
Sam was thin. Very thin. His cheeks were hollowed in a bit, his eyes sunken and dark circles were visible under his eyes. Dean ran his hands under Sam’s shirt. Sam did not stop him.  
“Sam, you’re nothing but skin and bones!”  
“It’s good to see you, too, Dean.” Sam’s voice was weak. He obviously did not want to talk about this. Dean wouldn’t let it go.  
Dean could barely hold himself back from pulling Sam closer to him. Relief suddenly flowed over him. “I can’t believe you’re here. You’re finally here! I’ve missed you so much…what happened? Where were you? Where – where’s dad? And why – why are you so thin?” Dean was worried. He had so many questions. He was so relieved to see Sam again, but Sam had clearly changed.  
Sam didn’t answer Dean, and he turned to look at him. His eyes were sad. Dean couldn’t hold back anymore. He frantically placed kisses all over Sam’s face, finally reaching his lips.  
But when their lips touched, Sam froze. Dean felt his hesitation and pulled back. “Sammy?” He noticed Sam hadn’t even brought his hands up around him. Sam did not hug him back.  
He couldn’t look Dean in the eye. “Dean, don’t…please don’t. I - can’t…”   
Dean’s face fell. His heart shattered right there. All the air was punched from his lungs. Dean stepped back, his hand dropping limply by his side. “Yea, ok Sammy. I’m sorry.” Dean turned away and swallowed, trying to hide his tears.   
Dean tried again. He reached his hand out, picking up Sam’s limp one.   
“I missed you, Sammy.” He rubbed his thumb over Sam’s knuckles.   
“Missed you, too, Dean.” Sam’s voice was so soft. So quiet. He gripped Dean as hard as he could. Which wasn’t very hard.  
Dean cleared his throat. “So, uh…Sam, where’s dad?”   
Tears started rolling down Sam’s cheeks. “Dean…”  
Dean knew there was a lot to talk about.  
“Hey Sam. Let’s go inside. We’re alone right now, Bobby’s not here. Let’s go inside and talk, ok?”  
Sam nodded and allowed himself to be led into the house by his older brother.


	4. Chapter 4

After Dean had settled Sam inside – Sam had nothing with him, just the clothes on his back – Dean got Sam a glass of water, which he drank slowly, and started asking questions again.  
“Sam, where’s dad? How did you get here?”  
“Got rid of him.” His voice showed no emotion. He was looking at Dean, but seemed very disconnected.  
“You what? Sam, what happened? You’ve been gone for three months!”  
“S’that all? Thought it was longer.” Sam chuckled and shrugged.  
“Sam. Please.”  
“Where’s Bobby?”  
“He’s on a hunt. Sam, please tell me what’s going on!”  
Sam sighed, closing his eyes. “Dad took me. Away from you.”  
“Yeah Sammy, I remember. You’re back now, ok? Sam, where’s dad?” Dean put his hand on Sam’s shoulder. Sam looked at it, and slowly pulled his shoulder away from Dean’s touch. Dean tried not to cry at Sam not wanting to be touched, but he remained respectful.   
“I told you, he’s gone.”  
“Gone how?”  
Sam turned to look at Dean. His eyes were haunted. Cold, almost lifeless. There was no light in there. Dean suppressed a sob. What had happened to Sam?  
Sam was slow to respond. “I uh. I ditched that son-of-a-bitch somewhere in Iowa…”  
“You…Iowa?” Something in Sam’s voice said that he was lying.  
“Yeah uh. I…uh…couldn’t stand him hitting me anymore.” Sam turned away again, his voice flat and dull.  
“Dad what?” Dean’s face grew hot. Every nerve in his body lit up, adrenaline pumping.  
Sam’s voice was a whisper. “He uh…would beat me every day, Dean. Tell me he’d beat the brainwashing out of me. He’d undo what you did to me. He’d punch me or kick me…always in a new place. But after the first time, he didn’t hit me in the face. Said he didn’t need anyone seein’ how he disciplined his kid.”  
“Sam, are you…”  
“Covered in bruises, yes.”  
“Sam, let me…”  
“No Dean, don’t touch me. You won’t want me anymore. I’m so thin and tired. I’m gross. You don’t wanna see. And…and I don’t deserve you. I’m not worth loving.”  
“You’re not – Sam, yes you are! I love you! I never stopped loving you!” Dean was hesitant to ask his next question, but he continued. “And Sam, seriously - why are you so thin?”  
Again, Sam was slow to respond. Tears started falling again. “Dad let me eat maybe once a day, Dean. Told me if I ever got back to you I’d be so undesirable you wouldn’t want to look at me. He’s right, I’m hideous.”  
“He…Dad starved you, Sam?”  
“No. I ate. When I deserved it. Sometimes I didn’t. But he was right to. Not feed me, I mean. I can’t. He knows. He hates us. I’m so dirty, Dean…” Sam broke down at that point, collapsing on the couch.   
“Oh Sammy. Come here. You are not dirty. And I don’t think you’re hideous. I love you. I’ll protect you. And if I ever see dad again, I’m going to kill him!”   
“Dean, how can you love me? Look at me.” Sam raised his arms in helpless despair.  
“Sammy, let me see. Let me help.”   
Sam resisted at first, but once he felt his brother’s hands on his skin, he relaxed a little, and nodded. Dean pulled Sam up off the couch. He lifted Sam’s shirt off over his head. And gasped, covering his mouth with his hand. “Oh. Baby, I’m so sorry! I’m sorry I couldn’t find you. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you!”  
Sam had lost a lot of weight. A lot. He was very thin. His chest was covered in bruises. Some were newer, some were weeks old.   
“Ugly, see?” Sam muttered.  
Dean had to cover his mouth to hide the horror he felt. “I’m gonna help you Sammy. I’m gonna help you get better, I promise. We’ll start by getting away from here. Let’s get a few things together and I’ll leave Bobby a note. How much head start do you have?”  
Sam was looking down at his disfigured chest. He seemed to not hear Dean at all.  
“Sammy? How much time?”  
“Head start?”  
“Yeah, I’m sure dad is after you. Did you have a head start? He’ll know you’d be coming here.”  
“uh…yeah, a day, I think.”  
“Ok, baby. I’m here now. You’ll be better soon. I promise. I’ll keep you safe. We’re gonna get out of here. I’ll protect you, baby, ok?”  
And Dean took his little brother’s face in his hands and kissed him on the cheek gently.  
And Sam let him.


	5. Chapter 5

They left Sioux Falls two hours later. Dean finished up working on the truck and got her started. Sam went inside to pack some food, but Dean found him just standing in the kitchen.  
“Sam?”  
“I can’t eat Dean. I shouldn’t eat. I don’t deserve to, and I don’t deserve you.” He sighed heavily. Sam sounded so broken, it tore Dean’s heart to pieces.   
“Sammy. You do. I’ll show you that you do. We’ll do this slow, ok? What did dad feed you?”  
“Water. Maybe a sandwich. Maybe once a day. Sometimes I didn’t eat at all. There was one point where he was so mad at me he didn’t let me eat for three days. I just ate whatever he picked up at the gas stations while we were driving around. Old egg salad. Dry turkey. That kinda stuff. Got food poisoning twice.”  
“Sam.” Dean put his head in his hands. “Ok, we need to give you back your energy. We’ll start with those full nutrient drinks, ok? We’ll ease you back into real food.” He rubbed his hand on Sam’s back. He thought for a minute. “Hey Sam, did…did dad eat?”   
Sam let out a small laugh, but Dean could see the sorrow on his face.  
“Yeah. He ate in front of me all the time. Burgers, sodas. Salads even. But sometimes he’d make me wait in the car while he ate in a diner. He’d stay in there for hours, too. I’d always ask him for the leftovers, but he never gave them to me. The car would start to smell so good. And then we’d get to the next motel, and he’d just…throw the food away.” Tears started to fall. “I couldn’t even go in with him. Dean, he made me sleep in the car.”  
Dean was livid. He knew his dad was strict, he spanked them a few times when they were little. Yelled at them a lot. Punished them if they mouthed off at him or didn’t get their chores done. But he never thought his dad would be capable of this kind of treatment.  
Dean started crying too. “He told me he was taking you to get help. Then he knocked me out.”  
Sam looked up at Dean. “He did? He told me you wanted me to leave. I didn’t believe him, I didn’t. But I never knew what really happened.”  
“I’ll never want to be without you, Sammy. Never. Don’t ever forget that.”  
Sam nodded and rested his head on Deans’ shoulder.  
~~  
After Dean packed up as much food as he could, he wrote a note to Bobby and got Sam a few changes of clothes.   
Dean drove for four hours before finally choosing a motel to stay at. Sam had only had two ensure drinks and a banana in that time. And he had a stomach ache.  
“Not used to so much food, Dean.” Sam leaned his head against the cool window, staring out into the darkness.  
Dean tried not to cry at the thought of that amount of food being too much.  
He paid with cash at the front desk so as not to leave a trail, and helped Sam into the room. Once they were safely inside with the curtains closed and the door locked, Dean helped a reluctant Sam out of his dirty clothes.   
Sam stood in his boxers in the middle of the room, right arm grasping his left. His head hung low, ashamed. His hair hid his face.  
“Oh Sammy.” Standing before him was a very thin, very weak Sam. He had lost muscle tone and looked very gaunt.   
“I’m sorry Dean. I’m sorry I’m so ugly.”  
“No. No. You are not ugly. You are still beautiful to me.”  
“Not beautiful. I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve you loving me.” He would not look up. Dean swallowed. His brother deserved the world. “Please Dean. Let me get dressed. I don’t want you looking at me.”  
“But Sam –“  
“PLEASE!” Sam’s shout made Dean jump. There was fear in Sam’s voice.  
“Ok Sam, ok. Hang on.” With trembling hands, Dean pulled out the pajamas he had packed for Sam before they left Bobby’s. Sam took them quietly and went to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.  
Dean sat on the floor, staring at the closed bathroom door. His mind was all over the place. He was angry at himself for getting caught with Sam, for letting Dad take Sam away. He was mad at his dad for the horrible way he treated Sam. He was mad at how sick Sam was, how sad he was, and how John had him believing he wasn’t worth loving.  
Dean’s fists clenched and unclenched as he waited. He needed to calm down so he could be the support Sam needed. He took deep breaths, keeping his eye on the door. Dean heard the light sounds of clothes being put on. He heard the water run. And then silence. Through the crack at the bottom, Dean saw the light turn off. He raised his head, waiting for Sam to come out. Several seconds passed, and Sam still hadn’t opened the door. Then Dean heard crying. Very soft. It was clear Sam was trying to hide it. But it was unmistakable.   
Sam was crying in the dark.  
“Sam, please, come out. Let me help you.” There was a long pause. “Please?” Dean asked again. Dean heard sniffling and shuffling of feet. The door opened slowly and Sam’s eyes looked up to meet Dean’s.  
“Dean? Will you – will you help me? Help me get better?”  
“Yes! Oh yes, baby, let me help you!” He reached out for Sam’s hand. Sam took it and slowly walked into Dean’s embrace. Dean hugged him gently, being careful of the bruises, and trying to respect Sam’s current state of fear. Sam slowly raised him arms and placed them around his brother, resting them on the small of Dean’s back. Dean let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.  
“Sammy.” Sam was in his arms again. Everything was gonna be ok. He raised his head and pulled Sam face towards his.  
“Sammy, can I kiss you?” Dean’s voice was soft, easy.   
Sam closed his eyes, thinking. Dean let him take all the time he needed. After a few seconds, Sam took a deep breath and nodded.  
“I won’t hurt you Sammy. I’d never hurt you. I love you. I’ll always love you.”  
Sam still didn’t open his eyes. But when Dean pressed his lips to Sam, Sam shuddered, letting out a slight sob. Dean gently nipped at his lips, using his tongue to coax his brother’s mouth open. He kept a very slow, sensual pace, and Sam finally leaned into it. The younger Winchester groaned and sagged into Dean’s arms. He finally felt safe again.  
Dean broke the kiss and Sam allowed his brother to lead him to the bed. He helped Sam lie down and brought the blankets up around him. Then he walked over to the other side of the bed and crawled in beside him.  
He ran his fingers through Sam’s hair and kissed the back of his neck.  
“Shhh. Baby, it’s ok.” Sam started sobbing as he reached up to find Dean’s hand, and held it against his heart.  
“I haven’t been in a real bed in a long time Dean.”  
Tears fell down Dean’s cheeks.   
He wrapped his arms around Sam and pulled him close.  
You’re safe now Sam, ok? I’ll take care of you. I promise. You deserve it. You deserve this. We deserve to have this.”  
“Promise?” Sam’s voice was hopeful.  
“Promise,” said Dean. His voice was confident.


	6. Chapter 6

John pounded on the door. “Bobby! Open up! I know he’s in there!” John ripped open the screen and with one swift movement, kicked the door open.   
“Sam Winchester get your ass over here!” John yelled to the empty room. He looked around, listening carefully. He let out a short laugh. “Of course you’re gone. Your sick brother probably took you, didn’t he?” John walked around the room, looking carefully for any clues. “Bobby, I’m gonna kick your ass for this!” But Bobby wasn’t home yet. He was still on a hunt with Rufus. Bobby didn’t even know Sam had been there.  
John walked into the kitchen and saw the folded paper laying on the kitchen table. “Gotcha,” he said with a wicked grin.  
He unfolded the note, reading the words Dean had written to Bobby.  
Bobby,  
You’ll never guess what happened. Sam came home. But Bobby, he’s sick. He’s so thin and weak. Dad beat him and starved him! Somehow he got away and got back here. But Dad’s after him. He’ll probably be here in a day or two. He knows Sam would come here. So I’m taking Sam and getting out of here. I’m going to head out to Rufus’ cabin in Vermont. We’ll be safe there. I’ll call once we get there. I’ll take care of him, Bobby. I’m sorry you weren’t here to see him.  
Dean  
P.S. Burn this letter, just in case, ok Bobby?

“Oh I’ll burn the fucking letter Dean. And when I find you? I’m gonna burn you, too. Literally.” John’s sneer was terrifying. He pulled out his zippo and lit the letter on fire, dropping it in the sink, washing the ashes down the drain, running the disposal for good measure.  
“Vermont, here I come.”  
~~  
Sam and Dean lay together in bed, Sam curled up and sleeping in Dean’s arms. Dean was gently stroking Sam’s hair, placing soft kisses against his pale skin. He whispered into Sam’s ear.  
“I’ll never leave your side Sammy. Never. I’m going to protect you and take care of you. I promise. I love you, baby. So much.” Dean tried not to cry as he held his brother close. Sam slept. He looked so peaceful. His breathing was deep and slow. Dean was pretty sure this was the best sleep Sam had in months. He didn’t dare move. Didn’t want to wake him. So he watched Sam sleep, gently touching his face. He caressed his jaw, tucked his hair behind his ears, and ran his fingers up and down Sam’s arm. So soft, so gentle. Dean would wait forever if he needed to.   
Sam slept.  
~~  
Vermont was a twenty-two hour drive. John decided to drive straight through. He figured Dean would probably stop at a motel along the way. And he wanted to beat the boys to the cabin. He wanted to be there waiting for them when they got there. Surprise them. Not many places to run in the woods of Vermont. John smiled. He’d get Sam back. Get him away from Dean.   
John’s not sure how he messed up so badly with Dean. But he knew he needed to be stopped. At all costs. There was only one way to keep Dean away from Sam forever. John didn’t really want to kill his oldest son. But it was the only way.   
He made sure he had plenty of supplies. Rufus’ cabin wasn’t big, but it would still require a good amount of gasoline to make the sure the whole thing burned completely. John wanted nothing left but ash and bones.   
It would likely take a while for anyone to find Dean’s bones. But since Bobby would never even see the note, he’d never notice Dean was gone. Not for at least a day or two. They wouldn’t know where to look. They might think to look in Vermont. They might.  
But by then, John would be long gone with Sam.  
John was ready. His plan was perfect. He got into the Impala and headed east.  
~~  
Sam woke up in Dean’s arms. He looked up at his brother, who was smiling at him.  
“Good morning, Sammy. Did you sleep well?”  
“Mmm – hmm,” groaned Sam.   
Dean kissed Sam’s cheek and Sam flinched. Dean closed his eyes and pulled away slowly. “I’m sorry Sammy. I just can’t help myself. I love you so much. I’ve missed you. But I know you need time. I’ll give you as much time as you need.” He gently stroked Sam’s chin.  
A tear rolled down Sam’s cheek. “I’m sorry Dean. I…I want you to kiss me. I do. I just…please. Try again? Kiss me?”  
Dean’s eyes lit up with hope. He very slowly leaned in and brushed his lips against Sam’s. Sam shuddered and did not kiss back. “Don’t stop Dean. Please.”  
Dean lowered his head to kiss Sam’s neck. He ran his lips and tongue gently across the crease in his skin at the base of his neck. Sam moaned. “Yeah Dean. More. Please.” His eyes squeezed shut and he rolled his head to the side, giving Dean more access. He relaxed muscles he didn’t realize he was tightening.   
Dean dove in softly. He brushed his lips gently, softly, caressing the bruised skin beneath him. Sam was moaning and crying at the same time.   
“I’ve missed this so much Dean. I’ve missed you. So much. But I’m scared.”  
“I know, Sam.” Dean kept his lips on Sam’s skin, whispering in his ear, making Sam shiver. “I’m going to go really slow, ok? We’ll get back to where we were. Trust me. I’ll guide you, ok?”  
“Ok, Dean.” Sam turned his face until their lips met again. The slow sensuality of it lifted Sam to another plane of existence. He was finally safe.  
Safe with Dean.


	7. Chapter 7

John drove past the motel the boys were staying at just as Sam was waking up. It would be a few hours before the boys finally got on the road again, so John would now be several hours ahead. Sam and Dean had no idea they were being followed. They had no idea there would be a trap waiting for them.  
~~  
Sam and Dean had fallen asleep kissing each other. They drifted off, legs tangled together on the bed, their lips still touching. When they awoke, the sun was shining through the blinds and they had lost a lot of daylight.  
“Shit. If we’re gonna keep ahead of John, we better get a move on, ok?” Dean crawled out from under Sam and went to brush his teeth.  
Sam got up and got dressed, carefully sliding the old clothes over his sensitive skin.  
“Sammy, we’re gonna get you some new clothes, ok? Ones that fit you now, until you get your strength back. Then we’ll get you new clothes again, ok?”  
Sam looked at the ground, embarrassed about his current size. “Yeah, ok Dean.”  
A few hours after they woke up, Sam and Dean were on the road, Sam in clothes they picked up at a nearby thrift shop. They were clean, and fit him much better. Just changing his clothes brightened Sam’s mood.  
“We should get to Rufus’ cabin sometime tomorrow if I drive straight through. If we need to stop again first, let me know. I think we still have a few hours ahead of dad.”  
Sam nodded and grabbed Dean’s hand. Dean squeezed it and smiled. “Let’s go, Sammy. I’m gonna get you to safety.”  
Sam smiled and Dean’s heart leapt.  
~~  
John arrived at the cabin well ahead of the boys. He drove the impala past it of course, didn’t go in the driveway (don’t want to leave tracks, ya know), so he parked a few miles away and came in around the back, leaving no noticeable trail.  
John spoke to the empty cabin, as if the boys were there to hear him. “Gonna get you back Sam. And Dean? I’m sorry I failed you. But I can’t let you do this anymore. It’s all gonna stop now.”  
He set several cans of gasoline outside the cabin, hidden behind some nearby bushes. He’d wait until the boys were inside before he started pouring. All he needed was Sam’s attention for a few seconds. Cause a distraction. Sam would go outside to see what was going on (his curiosity always did get him in trouble). Then John would subdue him (although he might have to knock him out, but sacrifices would need to be made) and barricade the doors from the outside. Then he’d pour the gasoline, light the match, and get back to the car with Sam.   
John waited. He would wait as long as he had to. He’d make sure Sam would never get away from him again. Make sure to keep him from Dean. Forever.  
~~  
Dean looked over at Sam, who had fallen asleep against the passenger window. He slept easily, as he had been sleeping in the car for several months now (Dean was determined to put a permanent stop to that, though).  
Dean’s brown furrowed. There was so much Sam had been through. So much he would have to recover from. Dean reached over and touched Sam’s hand, which was resting in his lap. Sam instantly sat up and pulled his hand back.   
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Please don’t hit me, please, I won’t eat dinner tonight, I’m sorry!” Sam was frantic. He pulled his knees up and wrapped his arms around them, pulling them close to his body. He started rocking back and forth and Dean was sure he heard him crying.  
Dean immediately pulled over and turned the car off. He ran around to the passenger side and wrenched the door open, kneeling on the ground next to his brother.  
“Sammy? Sam, it’s ok. It’s me. It’s Dean. What is it baby? You’re safe. You’re with me. You’re safe. Dad isn’t anywhere near here. He can’t get you. I got you. I’ll take care of you, ok?”  
Sam didn’t hear him. His knuckles were white from the grip he had on his knees. His eyes were squeezed shut.  
Dean very slowly, and very gently, touched Sam’s knee. “Sam?” He spoke softly, almost in a whisper. He moved slowly, speaking as softly as he could, coaxing Sam out of his terror.  
Finally, Sam’s breathing slowed and he released his legs. “Dean? I’m…I’m sorry Dean, I…I mean Dad used to…”  
“Shhhh…you don’t need to talk about it yet. Please. Just know you’re with me. I will protect you. Ok?”  
Sam nodded. He was trying, he really was. He wanted to be back in Dean’s arms more than anything. But he knew his brain was all messed up now, triggered by the smallest things. But he had Dean. He’d be safe.  
“Sam, we’re about an hour away from the cabin. Once we get there, I’m gonna call Bobby, ok? You can get some sleep and we will figure this all out. Baby steps. You good with that?”  
Sam nodded. “Good with that, Dean.” He did not sleep for the rest of the trip. He didn’t talk, either. He just stared out the window. Dean let him be.  
~~  
John waited behind the bushes as Bobby’s truck pulled into the driveway. He watched Dean get out of the car and help Sam inside. His lips twitched.   
Time to put his plan into action.


	8. Chapter 8

John was patient. He watched the boys walk into the cabin and he shuddered. One again he saw Sam on his knees in that shower. He tried to shake the image from his head.   
When the boys had brought their belongings into the house, John waited.  
He watched them through the back window. Dean was hugging Sam. John almost burst through the door right then. But he waited.  
When he saw then settle on the couch, he crept to the front door and set up his barricade. He leaned several heavy stumps he had brought close against the door. Dean would have a hard time getting out that way.   
John paused. Was this really necessary? Was he really going to kill his oldest son? He thought about it, but only briefly. What Dean had done was unforgivable.   
Sam would learn, but Dean needed to be stopped. This was the only way.  
John poured gasoline all over the stumps, saturating them in the fuel.  
He poured a trail to the back, where he could light it from a distance.  
John watched through the window. He waited.  
All he had to do was bide his time. Then he’d get Sam to safety.  
Patience pays off if you are…well, patient enough. And John was. He watched as his boys fell asleep in each other’s arms on the couch. He shuddered again, but knew Sam would be safe soon. He would keep his youngest son safe. Teach him that what he was doing was wrong. Never again would Sam be desirable to his brother. Or anyone else. No, Sam would have to live the rest of his life learning that lesson. John made sure to teach him that he’d be going to hell for those sins if he didn’t cleanse himself. And he best be prepared. His son needed cleansing. And fasting and beatings would pull all the sin from his body.  
When John felt enough time had passed, he pulled out his bird call. Sam was always watching the birds. He had a whole notebook full of sketches. He wouldn’t be able to resist.  
Patience, John thought.  
He blew the bird call a few times, making sure not to overdo it too much.  
Sure enough, Sam eventually moved on the couch, lifting his head. He stood, looking down at Dean. He picked up his limp arm and kissed his brother’s hand.   
Sam walked to the window and looked out. He heard it, but he couldn’t see it. He turned back to look at Dean and slowly and quietly stepped outside. He listened, and heard the call again. There was something off about it though. It wasn’t quite right. It didn’t sound…natural enough. Sam frowned, trying to place why it was wrong.  
A second later, he knew. But it was too late. John was too fast. He grabbed Sam by the hair from behind and pulled him close. Sam was terrified. He started hyperventilating.  
“Shut up Sam, do you want to wake Dean? Ruin all my plans? I’m gonna save you Sam, I promised you that. Now sit here!” He threw Sam to the ground and Sam fell, as limp as a rag doll. He didn’t dare move.  
John began pouring gasoline over the ground in front of the back door as well as splashing it over the windows and walls. Rufus was gonna kick his ass for sure, but once he knew why…he’d forgive John.  
Sam was in shock. He was unable to move, unable to speak.  
“Dean?” Sam whispered. He watched John move quickly, pouring gasoline everywhere. He wasn’t actually going to -   
“Get up Sam, we gotta go,” John lit a pack of matches and threw it down in front of the back door. Instantly, the ground erupted. It followed the trail around to the front of the cabin. Very quickly, the entire cabin was engulfed in flames. John peeked inside, watching Dean stirring on the couch. He took one last look at his oldest son and turned to grab Sam.  
But Sam had other ideas. He had found his voice. And his father’s gun, which he now held in front of him, pointed at his father.


	9. Chapter 9

“Sam, put the gun down son.”  
“No, John.” Sam’s hands were steady.   
“Come on, you aren’t really going to – “  
Sam pulled the trigger. He didn’t even flinch. John collapsed instantly, the bullet hitting him just above the left eye.  
Sam tossed the gun onto the ground next his father’s body. Without even looking back, Sam strode quickly towards the cabin.  
“Dean!” Sam yelled. Now his resolved failed. He reached through the flames, trying to get the door open. But the fire was growing quickly.   
“Dean!” Sam yelled again. “Dean, get up!” Dean finally heard Sam yelling and rose from the couch, but the entire cabin was completely engulfed in flames, and the inside was quickly filling with smoke. Sam could see Dean through the window and he looked panic stricken.  
“Sam? Sam, where are you?” Dean grabbed his throat and coughed.  
“Out here Dean! I..I can’t get to you!” Sam was starting to panic. His hands went to his head and he ran his fingers through his hair, desperate.  
“Stand back, Sammy!”  
Sam backed up a few feet as the door suddenly crashed outward, easily flying open when Dean’s foot kicked it down.  
Dean stumbled out and grabbed his brother, gasping for fresh air. Sam grabbed him and helped him move away from the fire.  
“What the hell happened, Sammy?” The roar of the fire was deafening.  
“Dad happened.”  
“Dad?” Dean went from confused to angry in a few seconds.  
“Sam, are you ok? Did he – “  
Sam pointed to the ground where John lay, his lifeless body still on the wet earth. Dean looked at his father for a long time. He slowly turned to Sam.  
“Sam? Did you?”  
“Yeah. Dean, I…”  
“Dude, we need to get out of here. Now.”  
Dean grabbed Sam’s hand and pulled him towards the truck. The quickly got inside, Sam holding his arms close to his chest. He was shaking now.  
As they drove away, Dean noticed the impala on the side of the road. He slammed on the brakes and pulled his brother out of the truck. He helped Sam into the passenger side and pulled the spare key out of the glove box.  
“I’m taking this baby. She’s mine now.” He looked over at Sam, who was now hunched over, grabbing his knees, head against the glass. His breaths were short and gasping. Dean reached over and gently stroked Sam’s cheek. Sam let out a soft sigh. He did not flinch. “You are too, Sammy,” Dean continued. Now you’re mine too. And I’ll take care of you forever. John will never hurt you again.”  
Silent tears fell down Sam’s cheeks.  
Behind them, the fire destroyed the cabin and all the nearby brush. The flames slowly made their way over and across John Winchester.  
It would be months before Rufus found his bones.


End file.
